Just Something Stupid
by Sailor Ryoko1
Summary: ANTI-Sakuya and ANTI-Britney Spears. If you like them, don't read this.
1. Default Chapter

I don't own Tenchi Muyo.  
  
This is another attempt of mine at a fan fiction. This story has no point (you have been warned ^_^). I'm writing about the two people who I hate more than anything, so this could get bad. This takes place during the Muyo series, but is kind of crossed over with the Tokyo (or Shin Tenchi Muyo, I think it's called in Japan) series. This does have some content suited for mature readers only, There's no graphic sex or anything like that, just violence and things like that. Ok, I hope you enjoy!  
  
Just Something Stupid- Chapter 1 The beginning.  
  
It had been almost eight years now since the girls had arrived at the Masaki house. Tenchi's school had finally been re-built, and he could've attended it again, had he not already graduated. Sasami, being about sixteen years old, had assimilated with Tsunami not too long ago. Ryoko and Ayeka no longer fought over Tenchi and were actually pretty good friends now. Mihoshi, being just a little older than thirty, wasn't as clumsy anymore. She hadn't been completely cured of her dim-wittedness, but she had gotten better. In order to help Sasami/Tsunami, Ryo-ohki was in her humanoid form most of the time. Washu had built an onsen for the men after getting sick of Nobuyuki always complaining (and peeping). Nobuyuki's pervertedness had only gotten worse over the years. Katsuhito remained the same. He did not age nor did he remove his "old man" disguise. Now, Tenchi had made the most change in appearance. He was no longer a scrawny seventeen year old, he was quite muscular now. His legs, which used to be very thin, were now filled out (his legs have always bothered me). His arms as well as his chest were more built up, due to the harsh training he had to do daily. His hair had grown to his mid back, and he still wore it tied up. The Tenchi crew had grown up, but had stayed pretty much the same, personality wise. The only main differences were the two new guests that had taken residence at the Masaki house. First there was Sakuya, a twenty something year old girl, whose parents abandoned her at the age of five, after learning what a pain in the ass she was. She had met Tenchi on the streets and instantly "fell in love" with him. She had been stalking him, and finally got invited to stay at his house by his father. Also, the "Pop Princess", Britney Spears had gone to Okayama to get over Justin Timberlake, who had dumped her. Ever since her first day at the Masaki house, she has been trying to get Tenchi in bed. So, except for the new aggravations, everything was pretty much the same.  
  
It's short, but it's only explaining everything. Now you know what the fic is going to be about, you can back out now, or you can keep reading. It's your choice. If you don't like the way it's starting, than I suggest you don't read the rest, it only gets worse from here. Oh, one more thing! If you like Sakuya and/or Britney, you probably shouldn't read this. I don't want any reviews saying that Sakuya/Britney are the best or whatever. This is my opinion and there's nothing you can do to change it! If you like them and can't stand a little humor, don't read it anymore! Ok, that's it! Next chapter should be out soon! Ja ne! 


	2. Confession of Love

Like I keep saying, I don't own Tenchi.  
  
This fic contains some parts suited for mature readers only, nothing extremely bad, but bad enough. You have been warned.  
  
Just Something Stupid- Chapter 2 Confession of love.  
  
Music was playing from the living room of the house. It wasn't the kind of music that most of the residents preferred. Britney, dressed in very little clothing (like usual), was listening to the radio. "I must confess..." She sang. "...that my lonliness is killing me nooooowww, don't you know I still believe, that you will be here, and give me a siiiign. Hit me baby one more time!" Suddenly, there was a crash and Britney could be seen flying out of a hole in the wall. "Well, she said to hit her." Ryoko shrugged and walked away, blowing up the stereo as she passed. "That stupid bitch is starting to annoy me." She growled. Ayeka giggled. "And I thought you were bad." Ayeka had seen how bad Britney and Sakuya were, and instantly saw Ryoko as a friend. "At least you have something to offer..." She continued. "...that's REAL!!" They both burst into laughter. Britney limped back into the house, all bloody and bruised. "Stop making fun of me!" She yelled. "I don't have implants!" The two women burst into laughter again. "Oh, that's right." Ryoko whispered to Ayeka. "She got them removed! She went from this..." She held her hands against her breasts, smushing them onto her body. "...to this..." She continued, now holding her hands far away from her chest. "...back to this." She put her hands where they were when she first started, smushing her breasts again. Britney growled. "Oh, Ryoko-chan, you're wrong." Ayeka objected. "She didn't get them completely removed, she would have been as flat as a board! She merely got them smaller..." The two women laughed again. "How dare you make fun of the 'Pop Princess?'" Britney yelled, falling on her knees, crying. "Stupid bitch." Ryoko said, teleporting away. "Ryo-ohki is more suited to be a princess." Ayeka walked away, leaving the whore alone.  
  
***  
  
"Tenchi!!" Sakuya ran over to the boy who was walking down the shrine steps. "S...Sakuya." Tenchi tried to run, but i was too late. Sakuya had reached him and now hung onto his arm. "What do you want?" "You!" Sakuya smiled. "Let's go take a walk." She said. "Um...sure. You go on, I'll catch up, I just have to...tie my shoe." Tenchi said. "Yay!" Sakuya jumped up and down and ran off toward the forest, laughing. Tenchi sighed and ran down the steps as fast as he could. He was glad that she was too stupid to realize he had sandals on. "Tenchi?" Ryoko looked up at Tenchi who was running down the steps, and by the looks of it, running away from something. She sat on a rock and smiled as Tenchi reached the bottom and leanded over, panting. Ryoko teleported over to him and bent over to look in his face. "What's the matter? Is there something scary up there?" She asked sweetly. "YES!!" He answered. "Well, what is it?" She floated a little above the ground, legs crossed. "Tenchi!!!" An annoying voice rang out. "Where'd you go?!!" "Oh, I see." Ryoko grabbed Tenchi's hand and teleported away with him.  
  
***  
  
Nobuyuki had come home from work early only to find Britney on the floor, clothes pretty much torn to shreds, exposing herself to the world. Nobuyuki gagged and ran out of the room. He quickly realized that the slut was the only person he would get anything from, possibly for the rest of his life. "I guess anything is better than nothing..." He sighed as he walked back into the room. He grabbed one of his hentai magazines, knowing that he would need something to get him started. He flipped through the pages as he dragged the screaming girl behind him to the mens onsen. Having successfully completed the journey to the onsen, he proceeded to violently rape her.  
  
***  
  
Sasami and Ayeka were in the kitchen preparing tea for everyone. Ryoko and Tenchi appeared, luckily not next to Ayeka who held the tea on a tray. "Hello, there." Ayeka greeted them. "Sakuya was trying to get Tenchi alone again." Ryoko told the princess. "Oh." Ayeka replied. "We have to watch out for her, she just as bad as the other whore." Ryoko laughed, she loved hearing Ayeka say things that no one would ever imagine she'd say. Soon, everyone in the house was sitting around the table, drinking their tea. Britney, Nobuyuki and Sakuya had not shown up yet. "Sasami, do you know where the sluts are?" Mihoshi asked, sipping her tea. "Um..." Of course Sasami knew what was going on in the mens onsen, she had Tsunami to thank for that. The question was, did she care? "No, I have no idea where they are." "Maybe they finally took the hint and left." Ayeka said, taking a bite of her cracker. "Who cares where they are, as long as Tenchi's with us." Ryoko added, stuffing three crackers into her mouth at once. "I'd like to arrest them so that I never have to see them again." Mihoshi sad with a cracker in one hand and her cup in the other. Everyone heard the door open and close. Sakuya walked in and saw everyone drinking tea. "Hey! You guys started without me! No fair!" She whined. "Shut up." Ryoko said, smiling to herself. "You guys didn't even save me a seat! And you didn't set a cup out for me!!" She continued to whine. "Oh, we set out a cup for you." Ayeka began. Ryoko caught on to the idea. "Yeah, but then Britney took it. She said that Tenchi would choose her before he would choose you..." "WHAT?!!" Sakuya yelled. "Where is she?!!" "Honestly, we don't kn--" "In the mens onsen." Sasami answered, ignoring the strange looks everyone was giving her. Sakuya stormed off to the mens onsen. No one is completely sure of the exact events after that. They heard only few of the words that were exchanged between the two women. There were numerous shouts of: Slut, whore, bitch, dumbass, etc... Then, they could all hear the words clearly. Sakuya spoke first. "And I thought you were supposed to be after Tenchi! And here you are, screwing his DAD!!" "Shut up, you slut! His dad isn't half bad for an old man!" Britney shouted back. Tenchi, Ryoko and Ayeka, who were the only ones still listening had ran away, hands over their mouths, ready to puke. But they obviously missed something very important. Something happened between the two girls that made them come as close to each other as two lovers. That, plus the fact that Nobuyuki had recovered and raped them both, but it's not like they cared too much. Any on-looker would have thought that Nobuyuki was the one being raped by the way they were going.  
  
***  
  
"That wasn't any fun. I thought they would get into a big cat fight or something." Ryoko said as she sat down on the couch. "What happened?" Mihoshi sat on one side of Ryoko while Tenchi sat on the other. Ayeka took a seat next to Tenchi and Sasami sat next to her sister, Ryo-ohki laying on her head. "Did they fight?" Sasami asked. "No." Tenchi answered. "It's a shame." Ayeka began. "I was hoping they'd kill each other so that we'd finally be rid of them." "Weren't we all hoping that?" Mihoshi asked. Suddenly the closet door (the one under the stairs) opened and Washu stepped out. "Hello, minna!" She said. "Well, look who finally decides to show her face." Ryoko said. "That's no way to talk to your mother!" Washu replied. "If you really are my mother, and you cared about me, you'd find a way to get rid of those other women!" Ryoko looked up to her mother who had permanently taken her adult form now. "Not until I'm done experimenting with them." "What exactly are your experiments about?" Sasami asked. "Well..." Washu began. "I'm trying to find the difference between an American slut and a Japanese one." "So..." Mihoshi began. "What's the difference?" "Well, I haven't gotten much data yet, does anyone know where my two test subjects are?" "In the men's onsen." Sasami answered. "Thank you." Washu called over her shoulder as she walked away.  
  
***  
  
It was turning out to be a very boring day in the Masaki house. Everyone sat where they had been when Washu went to the men's onsen three hours ago. They were all watching television now, but nothing was on. Mihoshi had fallen asleep, Sasami was ready to start making dinner, and Ryoko was ready to go outside. Tenchi figured he should start tending to the carrots, but Washu walked in at that moment. "My results are in." She said, looking at everyone's faces. "And?" Sasami asked. "Two sluts who are raped together become lesbians." Washu answered. "Does that mean..." Mihoshi began, having woken up when Washu walked into the room. "Yes, Mihoshi." Washu began. "The two sluts are lesbians." "Eeew." Ryoko said. "But at least they won't hang all over Tenchi anymore!" "That's right!" Ayeka said, unable to hide her excitement. "It'll be just like old times!"  
  
I told you this fic was pointless, but it's not over yet! If you're expecting anything exciting to happen, you're probably reading the wrong thing. I'm not giving up until I get all of the messed up ideas out of my head. There's so much I could do to torture those two. Please don't tell me that I don't have the lyrics to the song from the beginning right, I know I probably don't. I don't like Britney and I don't listen to her music, and I don't care wheter I got the words right or not. I'll have to try to make it more interesting for you. I'll try to make the next chapter a little better. 


	3. Two on Two

I call it Just Something Stupid cause I wrote it when I was bored, and I thought it was kind of dumb...^_^  
  
I don't own Tenchi Muyo, I'm only using the characters.  
  
Chapter 3- Two on Two  
  
Sakuya and Britney had moved into the same room after that day. A few weeks had passed now, and everyone had gotten used to seeing the two together. Ryoko had warned them that if they made any physical contact in public, they would be severely punished. Tenchi was getting closer to deciding who he loved. Now, if Sakuya and Britney knew that the girls living in Tenchi's house were not human, they wouldn't have done what they did that day. But, unlucky for them, they didn't know. As far as they knew, Mihoshi was with the Okayama Police Force, Washu was just a super genius, Ryoko was a former criminal who was incredibly strong, and Ayeka and Sasami were just very polite girls that might be related to royalty. And Ryo-ohki was just one of Washu's experiments that she liked so much so she kept her. So the days passed, not much different from one another, nothing exciting happening unil Ryoko and Ayeka caught Sakuya and Britney making out on the couch, with Ryo-ohki watching with her mouth hanging wide open. "What the hell are you doing?!!!" Ryoko yelled. Sakuya and Britney looked up at Ryoko, and went back to making out, completely ignoring her. "She asked you a question!" Ayeka growled. Ryoko grabbed each girl around the throat and lifted them into the air. "And I'm waiting for an answer." She finished. Sakuya and Britney didn't do anything, so Ryoko threw them to the floor. They whispered something to each other, not loud enough for Ryoko or Ayeka to hear. Ryoko, though, having excellent hearing, heard exactly what they were saying. Ryoko smiled ad got into a fighting stance, as did Ayeka when she caught on to what was happening. The two fallen whores stood up and turned to face Ryoko and Ayeka. "We are so sorry, we won't do it again." Sakuya said. Britney had thrown a punch in the middle of Sakuya's decoy sentence. The fist, aimed at Ryoko's head, completely missed. Ryoko had side-stepped the attack with ease, causing Britney to fall flat on her face. "Britney-sama!" Sakuya yelled. She looked helplessly at her dazed lesbian companion, then she looked back to Ryoko and Ayeka angrily. Before she could attack, she saw some sort of mini logs appear around her. Before she could express her confusion, she felt an electric shock going through her body. She screamed as she felt herself frying, the smell of burnt sking and hair filling the room. Then Sakuya fell on the floor, unconscious. Ryoko held Ryo-ohki in her arms as they walked out, they each stepped on Britneys head with all their weight, causing it to crack, causing blood to pour out of it. So, they left the burnt-to-a-crisp Sakuya, and the broken-nosed Britney there to suffer.  
  
***  
  
Tenchi had just finished doing all of his chores at the shrine, and was walking down the stairs. Having Sakuya and Britney become lovers was the best thing that ever happened to him, neither one of them ever hung on him anymore. He sighed happily, today would be the day he would tell the girls his feelings for them. He know now that they were friends, he didn't have to worry about them hating each other. Once he reached the house, he smelled something burning. He ran in quickly. "Is everyone all right?!! Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami?!!" He stopped when he saw Sakuya and Britney, he sighed as he walked past them. "Whew! I thought one of the girls was hurt." He didn't even glance twice at the two girls on the floor as he entered the kitchen. "Sasami...or Tsunami..." He began. Sasami turned to face him, knife in one hand, carrot in the other. "Have you seen Ryoko and Ayeka?" "Yeah, they went to get me more vegetables, they'll be back in a second." She answered. Washu the walked into the kitchen, followed by Mihoshi, who seemed to follow Washu a lot lately. Suddenly, Ryoko and Ayeka appeared. Ryoko let go of Ayeka's shoulder (which she held onto so she could teleport), and set the basket of vegetables down. "Hi, Tenchi!" Both girls said in unison. "I like your handi-work." Washu said, indicating the living room. "Thanks!" Both of them smiled. "By the way I got rid of that mess and the awful smell!" Washu added. "Thanks." Everyone replied. "I have an announcement to make." Tenchi said. "You're kicking those whore's out of the house?" Ayeka asked, hopefully. "You're going to let us kill them?" Ryoko added. "No and no." Tenchi answered. "Then, can you possibly mean..." Mihoshi began, looking shocked. Everyone leaned in, believing that Mihoshi had actually guessed what it was by the expression on her face. "Have you already..." Everyone looked between Tenchi and Mihoshi. "... ... ...finished dinner?" She asked. Everyone fell flat on their faces. "What?" Mihoshi asked, her stomach growling. "I'm hungry!" "Why do we fall for that every time?" Ryoko asked, standing up. "Well, my announcement actually was that I have chosen who I love." Tenchi said. "Really?" Both Ryoko and Ayeka were directly in front of Tenchi now. "Really?" Mihoshi asked, pushing them out of the way, and stood in front of Tenchi. "Yes..." Tenchi sweat dropped as Ryoko and Ayeka pushed Mihoshi out of the way and looked at Tenchi, waiting for him to continue. "I would have liked to have chosen both of you..." He began. "But unfortunately I do not plan on moving to Jurai, therefore, I can only have one wife." The girls held their breath. "After much though, I realized that my heart belongs to one of you, while the other is still a very close friend. So that's why I have chosen..." The house was silent as Tenchi hesitated. "I love you, Ryoko." Ryoko started breathing again, smiling widely. Ayeka was also breathing, a small smile on her lips. "I'm very happy for you, Ryoko. He couldn't have chosen anyone better." She bowed to the cyan haired girl. "Thank you!" Ryoko hugged Ayeka, and then ran over and kissed Tenchi on the lips. "My, they grow up so fast." Washu wiped away an imaginary tear. "What about me?" Mihoshi asked. "What about you?" Ayeka asked. "Does Tenchi love me, too?" "Hmmm..." Ryoko thought, getting a brilliant idea. "We have a way to find out..."  
  
***  
  
Sakuya and Britney were strapped onto a machine with duct tape. Mihoshi was the only one in the room with them. On the machine there was a single red button that said: DO NOT TOUCH!! Mihoshi looked around the subspace room that Washu had added to her lab for this machine, and remembered what Ryoko had said. "If you want to find out if Tenchi loves you, just don't press the button." But her curiosity got the best of her, and she finally walked over to it. He hand hovered above the button, inching closer to it as her curiosity grew. Finally, she stopped hesitating and just pressed the button. An explosion occured. Everyone in the house felt a shake and smiled. "I knew she couldn't resist..." Ryoko said, sitting on Tenchi's lap.  
  
Inside the subspace room, Mihoshi stood, black soot all over her from the explosion. She looked around the room, coughing occasionally. There were no signs of the machine, or for that matter, Sakuya or Britney. Mihoshi shrugged and left the lab to get cleaned up. She had forgotten what she had gone in there for anyway. What she didn't know was that, being Earthlings, the two girls had exploded along with the machine. The subspace room faded when Mihoshi left it, like it was programmed to do. The remains of Sakuya and Britney also disappearing, forever.  
  
I guess I could have made the ending a little better, but this is all I could think of for now. I'm not a very experienced writer, so there are probably lots of mistakes, but this is the best I can do. This was probably the stupidest fan ficiton ever written, but that's ok, it was fun to write. Thanks for reading! Ja ne! 


End file.
